yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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