I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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