I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize