i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
