Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
