I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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