Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
