I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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