hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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