party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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