I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
