You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize