I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
