So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
