Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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