would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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