Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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