he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
