I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I had to cum in my sink.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
