im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
