I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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