And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
