we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
