yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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