She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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