using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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