Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
