Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
