pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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