His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize