Ambien. No doubt about it.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
