i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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