Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
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The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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