I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
