am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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