; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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