You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
