Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
