All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
