i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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