I love black thongs
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
