i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
