just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
