They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
