I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
