Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
