i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
