I must be too annoying 4 u.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
