Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
