I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
