You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
