Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im holly from the hills drunk
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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