Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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