We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
