I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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