the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
