The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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