I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
