How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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