beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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