3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
