new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
