That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
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That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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