For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
