Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
