grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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